amusements


With a few hundred thousand other people, i’ve been mesmerized by Jon Bois’s 17776.  It’s over here.  Take an hour and go through it all.

pioneer10

Avid football fan

Now, I am one of the few American males who does not get football. Never really mastered the rules, and nothing about it makes me want to. But I love Jon Bois. He has a series called Breaking Madden that’s hilarious. He takes a football sim (that would be Madden), forces it to do insane things, and tells the results as a story. Sometimes the game cooperates, sometimes it glitches out, it’s all good.

The elevator pitch for 17776 is “What football will look like in the future.” And he gets there! But 17776 is so much bigger and weirder than that. It’s a science fiction story. It’s a multimedia experience. It’s about sentient space probes.  It’s about human beings.  It’s a utopia— a bittersweet one.  It’s about friendship and God and in a couple of places it’s really moving.

First, the football.  No, wait, that won’t make sense without the basic situation. His method is to insert one wild hypothetical, and draw out its implications with no further magic. The hypothetical is this: in 2026, for no reason ever explained, people stop aging and dying (and being born).  That’s it.  Everyone finds themselves immortal. What do they do?

For one thing, they play football. For 15,000 years.  The rulebook gets really long and strange over that time. Bois invents half a dozen or more weird versions of football. The least weird of these is the first one he gets to: the playing field is the state of Nebraska; the end zones are Iowa and Wyoming. There are thousands of players at any one time, but only one ball, and the game lasts for years.

We’re introduced to this game, by the way, because the protagonists are watching it. They’re space probes— two Pioneer units, and a Jupiter probe that in 2017 hasn’t launched yet. One of the units— Pioneer 9— is woken up at the beginning of the story, which gives us a character who has to learn about all this world just as we do.

The story is mostly text conversations, but it plays with the medium expertly.  There are pictures, found documents real and imagined, GIFs and videos. Many of these use Google Earth to bounce over the globe, zooming effortlessly from outer space down to individual houses or football stadiums. (I’m inclined to say: don’t try this at home. Bois makes it work, but I really don’t want every story to be told this way.)

Bois has an interesting take on utopias / the future.  In his scenario, the people of 17776 are the same people who were alive in 2026. And for the most part, their society is ours, only perfected: nanobots keep people from injury and want; war and capitalism are gone. His take is that people will try the fancier visions of sf writers— flying cars, robots, etc.— but ultimately get rid of them because they don’t like them. People want to have jobs and walk around and cook and hold elections and hang out with their pals, to say nothing of playing and watching football. Plus, they’re 2026ers at heart and they stick with what they know.

Granted, his approach may only make sense in the narrow scenario he’s created. But there’s a lot of wisdom in his take. Other writers have seriously considered what people would do with near-immortality— Julian Barnes and Jorge Luis Borges, for instance. Bois is by far the most optimistic of them. Barnes and Borges concluded that most people would get bored within a thousand years; Bois thinks the human sense of play is enough to keep us going indefinitely.  (My own sf future envisions more change, but also doubts that getting too far from our primate heritage is a great idea.)

17776 is full of novelty and pure fun, but what makes it unforgettable is Bois’s heart. There’s all sorts of grimness and outrage these days; we don’t always get this full blast of benignity. Bois seems to just like people. There’s no real villains here— except maybe for a few cheap moves in some of the football games. And it’s hard not to surrender to this future of Nice But Not Amazing.

Hat tip to @jwz here. The technical name for these is apparently Image-to-Image Translation with Conditional Adversarial Nets. Here’s a link to a (currently) working interactive toy. It takes a simple drawing and turns it into a rendered nightmare.

nitemare1

Well, that wasn’t too bad, if you don’t look hard at the eyes.  Can it handle blonde hair?

nitemare2

Nnnnnno, I wouldn’t say it can.  OK, got it, dark hair. Maybe a more cartoony image would look better.

nitemare3

Well, maybe we should play to this thing’s strengths.  If I draw a monster, it should produce a monster, right?

nitemare4

I dunno, it kind of turned into Orc Gary. I wonder if I could import him into Skyrim.

So, who’ll be first to produce a graphic novel with this thing?

I finally got around to something I wanted to do for awhile… find out what some of the signs on the Hanamura map in Overwatch say.

In the arcade, there are intriguing posters of a lanky woman, not D.Va, who may have a mecha of her own.

ow-machine

Super マシン2 = Super Machine 2

音樂! = Ongaku! = Music!

ow-panther

ルパンター X = Pantā X = Hunter X

パワーガー  = Pawāgāru = Power Girl

The sign on the door of the outside door of the castle:

花村城跡地。立ち入り禁止。

Hanamura-jō atochi. Tachiiri kinshi.

Site of Hanamura castle. No trespassing.

The Rikimaru shop is labeled, not very excitingly,

ラーメン屋 Rāmen-ya = Ramen shop

Finally, the van outside the arcade says

うまさ世界 デリバリ = Umasa sekai – deribari = Tastiness World – Delivery

Thanks to alert reader Hirofumi Nagamura for corrections!

Edit: And also for providing translations for these signs inside the castle:

ow-temple

Left: 七転八起 = Shi chi ten hakki = “Fall seven times, rise eight times”— i.e. “Don’t be discouraged by multiple setbacks.”

Right: 竜の心で気合全開 = Ryū no kokoro de ki ai zen kai = “With a dragon’s heart, go all out with your fighting spirit.”

My wife has just returned from Peru, and brought back a list of Peruvian names from the newspapers. Odd spellings for foreign names are muy de onda (very hip).

Sthefany

Lesly

Jhony

Mijael

Yeni

Airon (Aaron?)

Jhair

Yanet

Exavier

Yodi

Jeylo (J. Lo)

Jhunior Brayan

Lian

Itan (Ethan?)

Johan Jonathán

Jilmer

Bili

Yordi

Yandy

Jannet

Jhoselin

 

Ginés

Yanika

Here’s a good example of why the world needs my (upcoming) India Construction Kit. At left is a picture from a new expansion for The Sims 4.

sari-failure

What the fuck is that girl wearing?

It looks like it’s supposed to be a sari, but it looks crazy. Compare to the actual sari to the right.

  • You don’t tie a sari with a big bow. In fact the cloth is about a yard wide; there’s no part of it that could be made into such a thin bow.
  • The part of the sari that comes down over the chest doesn’t go into a knot; it’s draped gracefully around the body.
  • The part that goes over the shoulder (the pallu) hangs down behind the back— you should be able to see it behind her.
  • It looks like the girl is wearing a (one-sleeved??) qipao. You wear a sari over a bodice and pettiskirt. It doesn’t have to be as revealing as the woman at right, but you’re supposed to see some midriff.
  • You can certainly have a monochrome sari, but patterns are much more popular. It’s a weird choice to have a pattern only on the undergarment.
  • The most common style is to wrap the sari over the left shoulder.

It’s so bad that one may wonder if it’s supposed to be something else, like a dupatta (scarf) and skirt.  A shalwar kameez can look like the yellow dress and you can wear a dupatta over it, but…

  • It’s not normally that tight.
  • You don’t wear a skirt over it, you wear trousers under it. (Technically, as part of it: that’s the shalwar.)
  • That knot and bow: No.
  • Anyway, the dupatta would normally be draped over both shoulders.

(If you’re wondering by now if the dress is even supposed to be Indian, note that she’s got a bindi.)

It’s possible that the outfit is imitating something I don’t know about. But it seems more likely that somebody attempted a sari without really knowing how one works. Admittedly, it’s hard to figure out even from pictures, which is why I provide diagrams in the book.

 

I saw this on Twitter, and decided that this was an important phrase to learn in Chinese:

CliN-G-UgAA8dB_

網上虛擬交心不宜

wǎng-shàng xūnǐ jiāoxīn bù yí

web-above virtual entrust not should

You should not make virtual commitments online.

 

While we’re at it, my Overwatch pals have been quoting D.Va’s comments in Korean, so let’s look at those in more detail.

안녕하세요!

a̠nɲjʌ̹ŋ ɦa̠sʰe̞jo

Annyeong haseyo!

peace you.have

Do you have peace? = How are you?

That first word is a borrowing from Chinese 安寧— Mandarin ānníng ‘peace, tranquility’. You will undoubtedly recognize the first character from 西安 Xī’ān, the ancient capital of China; also Heian, the ancient name for Kyoto.

D.va is very informal and also from the future, so she just says Annyeong!

감사합니다

ˈka̠ːmsʰa̠ɦa̠mnida̠

Kamsa hamnida!

thanks have.assertive

I am thankful! = Thank you!

Again, the first word is a borrowing: 感謝 gǎnxiè ‘gratitude’; the common way to say “Thank you” in Mandarin— which you can hear Mei say in Overwatch— is 謝謝 xièxiè.

And again, D.Va informally says just Kamsa!

Mei’s “Hello” is 你好 Nǐhǎo, literally “you good?”

 

One thing I learned at the gym: ponytails don’t work as video game animators think they do.

Press F at just the right moment to avoid gruesome death

Press F at the right moment to avoid gruesome death

In video games, ponytails like Lara’s mostly bounce up and down. Playing games before, it looked all right to me. (You can get an idea of how Lara’s hair behaves from this video. It may not be immediately obvious, as her hair is also affected by the wind, and movements of her head.)

Actual ponytails move left to right. The range of motion is surprisingly high– if the ponytail isn’t too big, it’ll go through more than 180 degrees while its owner runs. (You can see this in this video.) A thicker or longer ponytail won’t move as much, but the motion is still left/right. Not surprisingly, it follows the motions of the arms. (If the woman is walking, there’s much less movement, but what there is remains left/right.)

Not a big deal, but a fun physics fact.

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