Charlie Stross recommended this article on myths of female sexuality (by Susan Krauss Whitbourne, reporting on a study by Terri Conley). It’s quite interesting, and I’d really like to believe its conclusions, but as mythbusting it’s a bust. Let’s go over the list.
1. “Women value men with powerful status, and men value women who are both youthful and attractive.” Against this, Conley cites one speed dating scenario. One experiment. Probably less than 30 participants; certainly less than a hundred. Contrary evidence: pretty much all of human behavior. Or if you want something more quantified, check out these awesome stats from OKCupid, based on a sample of 200,000 people.
2. “Women want and actually have fewer sexual partners. Conley and team reviewing relevant studies found that yes, some men do want a large number of sexual partners.” That is, the first part of the ‘myth’ (about wanting) wasn’t busted, but confirmed. The twist is that at least one study found that men exaggerate how many conquests they’ve had. Surely this shouldn’t be a big surprise. Mathematically, if men report n het encounters, women should report n as well. But even this finding reinforces that men and women don’t think the same.
3. “Men think about sex more often than women do.” The busting consists of confirming the finding, but adding that men think about food and sleep more, too.
4. Women orgasm less. The busting: “When in committed relationships, women and men experience orgasm with equal frequency.” In other words, the ‘myth’ is true! If you have a generalization that applies to a whole group, it’s not disproved by showing that the generalization doesn’t hold for a fraction of the group.
5. “Women don’t like casual sex as much as men do.” The classic demonstration was a rather silly experiment where college students were approached with offers of sex— 70% of men were interested, 0% of women. I call this silly because it’s a completely unnatural setup— this isn’t how people find partners! Conley did a variation which found that the women were much more interested “if they believe that they can avoid being stigmatized”. Again, that’s a pretty important nuance!
6. “Women are choosier than men.” Conley apparently found that whichever sex initiates contact, the other will be choosier— that is, if men approach women, the women seem pickier; if women approach men, the men seem pickier. This one is hard to evaluate without knowing the exact methodology; it seems like a no-brainer that any offer has a chance of being rejected, so I don’t see how this is a test of choosiness at all.
Whitbourne frames the story in the context of people showing surprise that women are interested in sex and male bodies. Surely that hasn’t been hot news since about 1925? (She mentions that e.g. Hollywood loves to show female but not male bodies, but I don’t think this is due to filmmakers calculating that women aren’t interested; it’s more that they think men will be turned off.)
The takeaway here, I think, is to be careful about evidence— especially for findings that confirm what you already believe. When you read “Studies show…”, be at least as wary as when you read “with this weird old tip”. Look at how the study was done, how many people it involved, and whether the methodology really tests the hypothesis.
(Also, yeah, I know, it’s Psychology Today. That’s why I mention that Stross plugged the link— he’s a smart guy, so it seemed worth checking out.)