I’ve been looking forward to Deus Ex: Human Revolution for months, and so far it’s provided about the most frustrating first two hours of any game I’ve played for two hours.

(Actually, Terraria fits that description too, but I didn’t expect as much from it.)

In 2027 a popular augment will be super-pointy chins
So, apparently I’m head of security for Sarif Industries, and I’m incompetent.  Because about the first thing that happens is a huge attack on the corporate offices, which is the sort of thing a head of security should probably have prevented.  Also because I couldn’t shoot anyone, but we’ll get to that in a moment.
 
First, the damn cutscenes!  Didn’t anyone at Square Enix ever play Half-Life 2?  You have to follow some chick and by that I mean, you have to follow her.  You can’t walk away, you can’t stop to look at something, you can’t even look behind you.  There’s a point where you get control of your character for about five seconds, then lose it again.  It seems to take forever before the game trusts you to walk around.
 
Then you get that attack, and find that a) shooting enemies head on is a very fast way to die, and b) shooting enemies from cover is a slower way to die.  You can supposedly pop your head up with the space key, but even if you’ve changed positions the enemies immediately know where you are and shoot you.  You can kind of lean to the side past your cover, only your bullets don’t work.  There was one sequence I replayed about five times; there’d be a dude approaching me, in the open, and I couldn’t do any damage.
 
A friend (thanks Kim!) finally told me: you have to hit the WASD keys while aiming.  That is, you can’t fire a gun using, say, the mouse button like any other goddamn game.  You hit RMB to aim, a movement key to peek out, and now you can hit LMB to fire the damn gun.  Try not to accidentally hit a movment key without aiming, because then you’ll move, out of cover and probably into enemy fire.
 
So, I finally survived that, got cut up by another cutscene, and got all sorts of augments which, um, probably do something.  Another attack on our labs, of all things.  Naturally, as head of security, I bypass the SWAT team and head in alone, with my minimal augments.  Fortunately I have one augmented ability– Batman’s silent takedown from behind.  And I can do it twice before I somehow run out of augment juice.
 
And then there’s a room with a half dozen perps, and I have tranq darts for approximately one of them.  I’ve gathered that the game would prefer me to sneak around, but there are no gargoyles, and the one vent I found, I couldn’t get into.  Jump, crouch, jump-crouch, use, jump really high, nothing worked.
 
Sigh.  A lot of my friends love the game, and I’d love to get to the point where I have an inkling why.  So far it’s got cutscenitis, a shitty tutorial, a baffling combat mechanic, and a stealth system that’s just one step above Skyrim’s ctrl key.  Oh, and a hacking minigame based on random dice rolls– hey, just like D&D!  Oh, and a map that doesn’t indicate your objective, though I’m guessing like most objectives it’s at the far end of the mostly linear level.
 
On the plus side– well, I can’t really think of one, but I expect I’ll try it again just to see if crossing that room is worth it.
 
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