Some time ago there was a posting from a female rock musician noting, or complaining, that it’s surprisingly hard for female rockers to get laid, and here’s another one, from Ellen Campesinos.
She talks about the poor logistics (e.g. when you’re touring and you’re not in a top band, you really have no private space to bring someone to, and very little time anyway), but this is perhaps the key bit. Why not sleep with a groupie?
This is a really unappealing prospect. There’s something about the power imbalance of that situation that makes me feel sad. I wouldn’t want to sleep with someone whose lust is solely driven by the fact I’m in a band they like. In that scenario, I’m up on a pedestal; there’s no room for me to impress them. Where’s the fun in that? I like the chase. If I don’t need to put any effort into seducing someone, there’s no tension. They don’t like me for my witty quips and knowledge of Sweet Valley High books; they like me for being in a band.
In the comments section some people object to this– what’s wrong with liking the band??– but others zero in on the status discrepancy that Ellen refers to. Male rockers will get it on with female groupies because both sides are comfortable with male dominance. And for whatever reason, Ellen obviously doesn’t care for the opposite situation, one where she has an automatic high status.
It’s just an interesting sociological observation. Of course my instinct as a conworlder is to subvert it, to wonder what a society would be like if things were different.