I’m about 2/3 of the way through revising.  I’m happy that most of the jokes work.  The first half… mmm… reflects its earliest incarnation as a game, but I don’t think that’s a problem.  I’ve had a nagging feeling that the last third of the book has a ghastly structural problem, but I can’t say yet.

So far the problems are two:

1. Thoroughness of artifice.  To be clearer, it needs a bit more conworlding.  It’s not at all a story about the gadgets, but the tech level should hit the reader a bit more.

2. The politics.  Some of the book is satirical, and bits where this is most explicit and most tied to our own era don’t work so well.  Plus I understand the targets better than when I wrote the book.

I’m reading Stross’s Accelerando, and it’s instructive because I think he has the same problem in the first chapter.  He’s furiously dropping brand names and contemporary references, and the effect is to make sound it excruciatingly dated even though it came out just five years ago.

Still need a new title.  The antagonists are the Peace Party and the Freedom Movement, so I considered Against Peace and Freedom, but eh.

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