ME: Okay, fine, you’re in my office. Why? And again, who are you?
WOMAN: You know why I’m in your office, Josh. You’ve been here with me for the last three or four hours.
ME: Lady, I don’t know who you’ve been with in my office, but I haven’t been there for two weeks. I mean that’s a problem itself, my lack of motivation, but lets get back to what you’re doing there?
WOMAN: Well…I met someone claiming to be you on the internet and he paid me to come to your office and have sex with him. Only he didn’t pay me. He left. And now I’ve wasted my whole fucking night.

Read it.