Violence is regrettable, but sometimes we must be ready to protect our way of life from zombies, aliens, Alpha Sections, and splicers.  Here’s what I’ve learned from an intensive study of Left 4 Dead 2.

1.  A steel door can be shattered to pieces by hitting it with your fists three times.

2. It’s possible to kill someone by repeatedly shooting them in the foot, but it takes time.

3. Pistols do not require ammo, but they do need to be reloaded.  Other weapons, you need to find ammo, but fortunately it’s widely scattered around town.

4. Shooting fellow survivors is rude; if you’re shot, you should say something witty to dissuade them from trying it again.

5. Just about any wound can be healed by bandages.  In a pinch, swallow an entire bottle of pills.

6. Watch out: zombies can get through doors.  Unless they’re closets or outhouses, which are therefore safe to hole up in.

7. However, if you take refuge in a closet or even a bathroom stall, it’s impossible to get out, even if you have a gun.  You must wait for assistance.

8. The helicopter pilot will always turn out to be infected.

9. It’s a noble and terrible thing to die for your comrades.  However, sometimes it’s a valid strategy as you will respawn with 50% health.

10. Getting shot or slashed allows you to do all your normal activities, but you’ll have to walk slower.